Sushi And Emu

We ate at a couple of neat little restaurants recently. On our first night in town we ate at a sushi place where tiny platters move around the restaurant on a conveyer belt. You would sit down and pick the platters off of the conveyer belt if you wanted to order them. The cost was $2.80 (about $2 USD) for between 3 to 6 sushi rolls. They had a lot of interesting types of meat such as eel and octopus. We ate a couple of tasty mystery meat platters and thought they might have been something cool, but they turned out to just be tuna and some other normal fish.


The covered platters on this picture are moving around the room and passing by every table.

I think they should serve the sushi on a little train, the kids would love it.

Tonight we ate at a nicer restaurant than usual, an "authentic Australian cuisine" restaurant. We ordered an Australian BBQ Platter, which was rather expensive, and came with (from left to right) crocodile meat, emu sausage, barimundi fish, and kangaroo steak:



We had already tried Kangaroo meat at the market in Darwin, but I guess you really get what you pay for because this much more expensive kangaroo steak was unbelievably good. It was so good that Girlfriend, who normally doesn't eat meat and acts vegetarian when she's shopping, said she might start eating more meat because she liked it so much.

My personal favorite from the strange meat selection was the emu sausage, which tasted much better to me than normal beef sausage, and went down smoother than normal sausage does. (To me, beef sausage always leaves this weird, harsh taste in the back of my throat.) The crocodile was good too, and it really didn't taste like anything I've ever had before so I cannot compare it to anything. The kangaroo tasted like really, really juicy steak that has been cooked and seasoned perfectly. Being kangaroo, it had an aftertaste, and that (unlike the stuff we tried in Darwin) added to the flavor. I think if I ever return to Australia it will be mandatory that I order something like this again.

Oh, and while we are talking about food.. A few things that are different about eating out in Australia:

1. You aren't expected to tip, most people don't. (I know I don't!)
   
2. You pay for your meal either up front or afterwards, but you have to do this by walking up to the counter. They have only once brought us a bill. This makes it much easier not to tip, because someone who didn't serve your food says "That'll be $9", you hand them $9, and leave.
3. There are many restaurants, mostly in Sydney, that have "BYO" on the window. This means you can bring and drink your own liquor while eating a meal you ordered from them. Mr. Guidebook says they charge a fee for opening a wine cork though.
   

The candy the FDA doesn't want you to eat..

When I was a little kid, my step-aunt brought us back some candy from Germany that was banned by the FDA in the U.S. That candy was known as a Kinder Surprise. Turns out they sell them out here:



After peeling off the tinfoil, you find a chocolate egg. Biting into it, though, you find the reason the FDA doesn't allow it to be sold:



..It contains a small plastic capsule.



Ooo, but what could be in this mysterious choking hazard, you ask?



Why, it's a random toy! Different from egg to egg, ours happens to be a lego-like dragon with wheels (once assembled):



So there you go. The candy the FDA thinks American kids would choke and die on if given the chance.

Wandering Around Cairns

Cairns is an interesting city to wander around in. Similar to Sydney in that they manage to cram a ton of random shops into a single block, the city center is teeming with pubs, souvenir shops, ethnic restaurants, book stores, tour and dive-related shops, backpacker hostels and internet cafes. The hostels are close enough to the downtown areas that you can get around perfectly fine without a car. The ocean pier where reef dive trips begin is an easy walk as well.


Little shops are crammed everywhere, sometimes even in alleys.

Some of the shops feel a little out of place. Notice the proximity of these two shops to each other:

Little Arrows Adult Shop & Cairns Denture Service: the perfect match.

One place I can't stop wandering into is called Singapore Charlie's. They sell everything. Watches that look really nice but cost $15-$20 (third-world knockoffs I guess), postcards, flags, t-shirts, swimming accessories, incense, backpacks, etc. All of it is very very cheap. My guess is that they import all of this crap from Singapore, thus the mascot.


Girlfriend poses with a pair of atrocious $5 glasses being sold at Singapore Charlie's. In the background you can see Singapore Charlie himself, and piles of random merchandise at sweatshop prices.

Singapore Charlie was also selling the ULTIMATE Star Wars collectible:



That's right, a Jar Jar Binks bong, the perfect souvenir to send back to grandma. This came in a huge display case of pot smoking accessories, located next to the rest of the store merchandise. Apparently it's no big deal to sell smoking paraphernalia in the same place that they sell children's toys.


Jar Jar sits among his kinfolk at Singapore Charlie's.

By far the most entertaining thing we saw while wandering the Cairns shopping district was a clothing store called Colorado. Inside the store window was a promotional poster giving Australians a glimpse into the life of a true blue Coloradoan such as myself:



As you can see, these fine folks are enjoying a typical Colorado day, partaking in a delightful picnic on the boardwalk as the yachts sail past and the waves lap against the shore. Coloradoans are a sea loving sort, you see, that being part of their.. um .. coastal lifestyle and all. Sure can't wait to get home and "hit the waves", as it were.

Cairns, like Sydney, is also home to some strange wildlife on display in the middle of the shopping district. Such as this freaky tree:

End Of Road Trip

The road trip portion of the visit is over. 14000 kilometers/8670 miles crossed, the rental car guy said he was impressed. One flat tire, probably 50 bottles of Coke and Vanilla Coke, and lots and lots of expensive petrol at seedy roadhouses. Here's a rough outline of our road trip path:



And one last glimpse at our car, bye bye Ole Whitey.. *tear in eye*



It will be nice to not pay for gas anymore, but now we will have to work out a new form of transportation south. *dusts off hitchin' thumb*

Uluru To Cairns

The west coast road trip was great, however, the drive from central Australia to the east coast was definitely not something I'd recommend.

The west coast, even though it's sparsely populated and a deserted wasteland of flies, dirt, and the occasional scrawny tree, manages to come up with interesting places to stop every day or so. The west coast seems to really be trying to gain the attention of tourists, while the east coast, with its Great Barrier Reef and massive landmark-filled cities and Australia Zoo and majority of the Australian population, doesn't have to struggle to bring tourists in. People just show up.

Central Australia, lodged between both of these, doesn't even seem to have or even try to have much worth seeing, other than Uluru. There is but one single attraction that seemed to be common to the tiny towns we passed through on the way from Uluru to the coast: fossils. Even the smallest towns had 'dinosaur discovery centers' and cartoonish dinosaur drawings plastered throughout them. They have found a crap load of fossils out there I guess.



The most interesting fossil center we stopped at was proud of being the site where the world's most intact "Kronosaurus" was discovered. This is basically some giant crocodile with fins that used to prowl around Australia killing thing. A lifesize representation of what the fossil they found would have looked like when living was on display outside:



I wish Jurassic Park was real, so they could start cloning these bad boys and putting them in cages for my amusement.

Anyway, other than the fossil stuff, which was enjoyable, the Uluru to east coast drive was long, hot, and boring until we hit the east coast. At one point the scenery got "interesting" because there were a bunch of hay fields that made it look like Nebraska. Any time a place looking like Nebraska is interesting it's a very bad sign.

As soon as we got close to the east coast, though, the scenery began the change for the better. Suddenly out of no where: trees. LOTS OF TREES. Big awkward trees covering entire mountains and stretching for miles kilometers:







The trees are very splotchy, and not the typical pine-covered mountain scenery I'm used to in Colorado. Mr. Guidebook says they mark the beginning of a long range of vegetation known as the Wet Tropics. After reaching the coast, we headed north, and camped in a rest area for the night. The next morning, we arrived at our destination: Cairns (pronounced 'cans'). This is a large city primarily associated with the Great Barrier Reef, with ads for the reef plastered everywhere.

Before settling in Cairns, however, we took a skyrail rainforest tour to a town called Kuranda, and a scenic railway back that evening. The skyrail was much better than the train (some little kids from India stole our window seat and we were too nice to make them give it back), and was basically a 5-mile gondola ride over an ancient rainforest.





In the time gap between the skyrail and the scenic train back, we grabbed lunch and then stopped off of a butterfly farm, where butterflies of many colors flew around landing on people and such. These two butterflies are doing a "special dance that mommies and daddies do":



There was a really sweet neon blue butterfly flying around, but despite dozens of pictures it was too hard to capture it with the camera.

Back to Cairns via the train, one last night of camping in a rest area (don't knock it till you've tried it, it's legal and free!), and we checked in to a cheap hostel in Cairns and prepared to stay put for a while. At this point both of us were in dire need of a shower and laundry facilities.

Tasty Treats

This, my friends, is Vegemite. It is about as Australian as a food spread can get. You might recall it being mentioned in that 80's song, "Land Down Under" by the band Men At Work. It tastes like eating pure salt, and is dark brown and hard to spread without mixing with something like margarine. It's rather nasty, but somehow its a vital condiment to Australians. The can we bought was used once and is still sitting in our glovebox many weeks later.



This is the Roadkill Cafe, a booth at the Mindil Street Market in Darwin. Darwin is somewhat famous for this marketplace (I think I mentioned that previously). The Roadkill Cafe, sporting the "You kill it, we grill it" slogan, sells a variety of delightful Aussie bushtucker (bush = outdoors, tucker = food) such as Emu Sausage, Kangaroo Meat, and Camel Meat. Here is Girlfriend just before trying a Kangaroo Kebob:



Yum yum. It tasted like steak, with an slight and odd aftertaste. The important thing to remember is that it didn't taste better than steak.

Back in Adelaide, Faizah showed us the wonders of Aussie snack food:



Meet Twisties, Cheese and Chicken flavored. They look like Cheetos, they have the same thickness and texture as Cheetos, but brother, they ain't Cheetos. The cheese one was like Cheetos minus all of the zest and spicy zing you've come to expect from American Cheetos. The Chicken flavored ones tasted like Chicken I guess. But that's the problem. Who would want snack food to taste like chicken? According to Faizah's mother, everything tastes good with chicken seasoning. At least Australians think so. Almost every bagged snack food comes in a Chicken flavor variety. Honestly, both flavors weren't that bad. Just take some getting used to.


Following the snack food theme, say hello to a Nutella snack packet. We like Nutella, and have made it our road trip car food of choice. It's made of hazelnut, but tastes like eating chocolate. You can spread it on bread as we have been, or eat it out of these little packets like a snack. It may be available in the U.S. but it's much more popular out here. Good stuff.



My cultural sensitivity ends, unfortunately, when confronted with a snack food designed to taste like bacon. Such is the case with the Cheetos Brand Cheese & Bacon Balls (You've sold out, Chester The Cheetah, you've sold out!!!). Or the dreaded bag to the right, advertising Burger Rings with "BIG BURGER TASTE." This is just wrong.

The package art in supermarkets looks similar, but strangely different than American supermarkets. With many foods, though, the major change lies only in the naming of the product. It's like being in an alternate universe:


Kellogg's Rice Bubbles (as opposed to the American version, Rich Crispies)

Lastly, there is one huge difference between American packaged food and Australian packaged food that affects almost everything: they use real sugar and not fructose corn syrup. Fructose is probably illegal. Soda, chips, candy- everything uses real sugar. It changes the taste slightly, but not in a bad way. I wonder if I will miss non-corn-syrup Soda when I return to the States, or if the free refills *star spangled banner plays in background* will be enough to make me forget.

Uluru/Ayers Rock

We made it to the center of the Australian outback, Uluru (formerly called Ayers Rock). We both had mixed feelings about going. As one guy we met put it when we asked him if it was worth seeing: "Well, it's a big f---ing rock." Several other people told us it was absolutely a must-see. So, due to these mixed reviews, and the fact that I live close to mountains and am not that impressed with big rocks, I had wondered if I would really find it that impressive. It was not what I expected, fortunately, and I am happy to report it is very worth seeing. The tourism companies put this thing on a million postcards for a reason.

Ayers Rock is known for its view at sunset, and this is what Grandma Fran was raving about. The hues change, and depending on the clouds, it turns dark red and sometimes pink. The sunset we saw did the dark red thing:





But, if it was just for the sunset we saw I might not have been as satisfied with the visit as I was. Honestly, changing color rocks are not THAT impressive. The thing about Ayers that made it so cool was how it looked upon closer inspection. This thing, this huge f'ing rock, is not shaped like anything I have ever seen before. You drive up closer to it and (tries to explain) it's scaley, and there are rib-like waves weathered into it. Furthermore, it's all one giant (10 kilometer circumference) mass of rock, so everything kind of.. runs together. From afar it looks like it's a sandstone mass like you might find in Moab, but it's not. It's not sandstone at all, and it doesn't have that same kind of vibe. It may be one of those things you just have to see for yourself, but here are some pics anyway:


Click on this for a larger version, this gives a pretty good idea of what I mean by the waviness of the rock.


A view from one of the sides. The dark lines are curves in the way the rock is shaped, the "waves".


A view from the along the trail up to the top (click for a bigger version). Notice the wavy hill on the right, that's what the entire rock looks like. The rock closer to the camera shows off the scaley aspect I mentioned.

The climb up it was intense. The first part of it you're climbing almost vertically at times, holding onto a large chain. After the chain ends you walk up and down the huge stone 'waves', following a white dotted-line of paint, until you reach the top. This is a very difficult climb (stopped multiple times on the way up to gasp for breath and drink water), but so many people from around the world consider this climb up the iconic rock the cornerstone of a visit to Australia (so my guidebook says), and the rock looked so fascinating from up close, that there was no way I was going to pass it up. Anyway, the view from the top and along the way is more than worth it.


The "chain" section of the trail up the rock (pointed at with arrows). The arrow on the bottom left shows you the tiny figure of a person about to attempt the climb, to give you an idea of scale. Our rental car on the right.


The Korean guy who beat us up took our picture. Notice the shadow in the middle right, that's a cloud's shadow over the outback plains behind us.

Oh, and a funny thing during the sunset viewing. Some little kid asked his dad, "Why didn't they move Ayers rocks over there?" and pointed to some flat area. Anyway, Ayers Rock was cool, and climbing it was the high point of the visit to Uluru. I recommend it to anyone who travels to Australia. Not seeing it would have been like going to Paris and skipping the Eiffel Tower.

After Uluru/Ayers Rock we also visited a placed called The Olgas that was, according to one of our guidebooks, "more spectacular than Uluru." It really wasn't even close, though. Just some rock that wished it was Uluru.

Extended Road Trip

Darwin was going to be our final stop with the rental car, and then we were going to depart Faizah and take the bus to Cairns to see the Barrier Reef. But... Grandma Fran, and a girl from the U.K. a few cities back, convinced us that we HAD to see Uluru/Ayers Rock. You know, that famous rock everyone associates with Australia and puts on postcards. Grandma Fran insisted it was "magic," and told us that if we didn't see Ayers Rock, we didn't see Australia. So OKAY FINE, we decided at the last minute to go see Uluru.

We called the rental car company, changed our drop off location from Darwin to Cairns, bid farewell to Faizah, and drove south. Fortunately, much of the additional road trip is in the no-speed-limit Northern Territory, so it is to be spent CRUISING AT BREAK NECK SPEEDS for thousands of kilometers in an insured rental car.

On the way to Ayers Rock/Uluru, we stopped off at..

• A non-smelly hot springs (I'm told some of them smell)
• A waterfall with a bushwalking trail:
  
• A cave with sparkly crystal formations in them:
• A camel farm:
  
• And a bunch of outback roadhouses with overpriced petrol.

We ended up giving an Aborigine a ride from one of the roadhouses we stopped at. At first I was nervous, but he turned out to be very friendly and not intent at all on slicing our guts open and stealing our vehicle. Turns out he played bass in a country band and worked in a mine, and had been to New York once when he was a teenager. This was our first conversation with an Aborigine.

That summarizes the stops made during the drive from Darwin to Uluru, which took about 2 1/2 days and roughly followed this path:

Next stop, Uluru.

Dingos and Darwin and Stuff

The first and only time we've seen a dingo was a few days after we first picked up the rental car, on the southwest corner of Australia near the caves. We were driving late at night through an eerie forest, going slow because of what we had read about kangaroos being nocturnal and jumping onto the road at night. We were trying to find a camp site, but had somehow gotten off of the main highway, and into a national forest devoid of any other cars. The trees were very thick and we could not see beyond a few feet into them. Suddenly, leaping from the forest, some brown dog jumps out in front of the car, barking loudly and scaring girlfriend half to death. (We didn't know it was a dingo at the time, and figured it was just some dog.) Driving away the mangy thing tries to chase the car. Aggressive little bugger.


That same creepy forest during the daytime.

Anyway, dingos are basically wild dogs that were introduced to Australia long ago by the Chinese. Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine says, "Maybe a dingo ate your baby?" Were you as confused as I was? Apparently it's in reference to a 1980's Australian news story. A two-month-old baby disappeared on a camping trip, and the mother exclaimed something like "A dingo ate my baby!" The police believed her story at first, but two years later she was arrested and convicted of murder. Then, many years later, she was acquitted after they found DNA evidence of a dingo on her child's clothes. Link here.

These are the kinds of things we learned from our personal Aussie tour guide, Faizah, whom we said goodbye to in Darwin after spending a few days with her and her grandma Fran.

Darwin

Darwin is a northern, tropical city whose rivers and beaches are swarming with crocodiles. Named after Charles Darwin, and known worldwide for its electricity storms. It is here that we met up with Grandma Fran, Faizah's grandma.

Grandma Fran is a lovable grandma figure who enjoys Karaoke and goes frequently. Our first night there she invited us to go out to a local pub and we agreed. Karaoke with Grandma Fran led to a couple of half-drunken duets with me and girlfriend, and me and Faizah (including "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" with yours truly doing falsetto). Fran also did a couple of solo ditties, and everyone there knew her by name. It was funny watching a grandma do Karaoke.

Darwin itself reminded me slightly of L.A., given the number of palm trees everywhere. Thoughout the city hordes of bats hung out in trees and made a constant and chaotic chirping noise. Thousands and thousands of bats with acidic poo. Fran said that if any got on the car we would want to get a car wash right away because it would eat the paint.

In Darwin we also.... visited a harbor, a museum and some historic sites (audience yawns), a twice-weekly outside street market, the greatest Aussie donut shop ever, and a marsh at a national park. The market is probably the most famous attraction in the city, and a lot of didjeriedoo playing bands put on free concerts just before sunset.


A booth that sells nothing but lawn gnomes at the Mendel Street Market.


Some weird clown game that Faizah says is commonplace in Australian markets. I have never seen such a thing before. You pay $3, and then drop a ball into the clown's mouth and it comes out in a random spot determining which type of prize you get.

Just before we left we did a `Jumping Crocodile Cruise'. There's a huge, murky river several hundred feet across called the Alligator River. The water is cloudy and brown, and you can't see more than a centimeter into it. Lurking on the shores and in the water are large flesh eating crocodiles looking to hunt their next meal. This is not a good river to go swimming in (nor is any body of water near Darwin, due to this and jellyfish). So given this, what better idea could there be than a river cruise where they dangle huge chunks of raw meat from a stick at the crocs, and trick them into jumping into the air right next to the boat?


Crickey!




During the cruise they also fed a flock of birds of prey, tossing squares of meat off the side of the boat as the hawk-things swooped down to grab them just before the meat hit the water. At one point a bird flew like 12 inches from my face, hmm..

Before and after the cruise they let people hold one of their many pet pythons:



And... on the drive away from the Alligator River, we came across this guy crossing the road:


A huge frigging Joanna lizard.